Lost in my thoughts, I was sitting on my bed, listening to my favourite songs whilst looking out of the window, observing nature, seeing groups of birds going back to their home, the sun ready to set to rise again for the next day.
It’s strange how sometimes we can find peace in every simple thing, I just wanted to get lost in that peace forever and not to go back to reality ever. But we can’t do that. We can only gather the energy from this peace to face reality again.
“Sehi, what are you doing? I was calling you for some time now,” my mother’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Oh! I’m sorry Mom. I didn’t hear your voice. I was listening to the music with my headphones on,” I replied to her while turning the music off and getting up from my bed.
“You and your headphones. I sometimes feel like you only use your headphones to ignore me,” well, I can’t deny that. Sometimes I do use the headphones just to ignore my mom’s talks.
“Why were you calling me mom? Do you need any help!” I changed the topic, I was not in the mood of getting into an argument that can bring back my all past mistakes once again in the present.
“Yes. I need you to go to the market and bring your father’s medicines. He again forgot to purchase his medicines on time,” that’s one of the reasons that I’m so lost and confused these days.
Actually, I received an appointment letter for the job that I applied for, which requires me to move to another city. But now I’m confused about whether to go or not. I’m the only child of my parents, and as they are getting old they are becoming more and more dependent on me, I don’t want to leave them alone here on their own. But I also want to accept the job and experience an independent life.
I’m so confused that I don’t even know what to do or what not to do.
I got out of home, purchased the medicine and returned home pretty quickly as the medicine shop is not that far away from where I live.
“Here is the medicine Mumma. Where is dad? Let me give these medicines to him or he will again forget to take them,” I asked mom as I entered the kitchen, she was busy preparing dinner.
“He is at the terrace, he said he wanted some fresh air,” mom replied.
I made my way towards the terrace. Dad was sitting there on one of the chairs and seemed like he was thinking about something very deeply. I walked towards him, placed the medicines pouch on his lap and sat beside him on the other chair.
“What are you thinking dad, you seem so lost.”
“Nothing Sweetie. I was just thinking how fast time passes,” I was amused by his reply.
I wondered, why is he thinking about this suddenly!?
“Yes, that’s right dad. But why are you thinking about this?” I asked with curiosity in my voice.
“Why didn’t you tell us that you got the job, Sehi?” I looked at him with shock clearly visible on my face.
“Dad, how do you…”
“I saw the appointment letter last night when I came into your room to talk about something but you were already asleep.” Oh, I forgot to place that letter in the drawer last night.
“I’m a little confused dad. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave you and mom alone here,” I admitted.
“We’ll be okay Sehi, you don’t need to think so much about us. I’m not sure about your mom but I’m still fit and fine as before,” I started laughing after hearing this. No matter what, he always knows how to bring a smile to my face.
‘Yeah! That’s right. He is fit and fine, that’s why he is taking these medicines,’ I didn’t say that to him. Just me and my inner voice were talking as always.
“But dad….” I started.
“No buts sweetie, just go and enjoy your life a bit. See new places, meet new people, make new friends, experience all these little things you wish to experience. This time is not going to come once again.” Yes, I do want to do all of that but a part of me was still confused.
“You are still confused, right!!” he asked, observing me.
I just nodded in return.
“Ok, then tell me; What was the first thing that came into your mind after knowing that you were selected?”
“I was more than happy, I thought that now I can finally live the life the way I always wanted to live once.”
“See, if this is the first thing that came into your mind then don’t you think it is the thing that you want to do! Other things are only constraints, darling. Just go, enjoy your life a little and you can always just come back after a while,” he said.
I smiled at him. A smile that reached my eyes. A genuine smile.
“By the way dad, you were saying that mom is not fit and fine as before.” I showed him my most evil smile.
“Oh no! you are not going to do that. Besides I didn’t say that directly, probably in an indirect way though,” his face was full of fear.
“Oh yes, dad. I’m going to tell mom that you called her old.” I said to him while getting up from the chair.
“No Sehi, you know she is going to eat me alive if you did that”
I just laughed and shrugged and started walking downstairs with my dad’s voice booming with warnings behind me.
Sometimes a proper conversation can solve the biggest confusion.
